Until the root sprout in the heart pumping only to find it has gradually occupied the chest. Inhibition may not have hurt myself or daring to express their impulses. Is so obviously in love, have to pretend nothing had happened; obviously are so concerned, has to pretend to not care; is so obviously missing, the heart has to pretend not Guaai; crush of people really pretend to play, disguise who they are born, almost fool all the people. This thought can also fool themselves, but suddenly found themselves already seen through his lies.
Review of past life a thousand times before this life in exchange for a pass; past life a thousand times pass, only in exchange for a life met; past life met a thousand times before a friend in exchange for life. Looked, suddenly feeling kind of want to cry.
know TK is my edge.
my name is lucy, tk I never met before, I did not filmed trailer, not really fall in love more than one man. I remember that I was 20 years old, TK23-year-old, I was in 1984, TK 1981. 2004, a wire so that the two strangers meet strangers ~. I remember that time, I Chittagong district in Zhuhai, he Xiangzhou. We have not seen each other in real time, I have something on his mind that related to TK, TK is also chatted with me any mind, because the unfamiliar.
the first time we met with each other, but also through the wire, we took each other QQ video, I remember one night we only talk on my side that he and his side is me. I remember the first time I saw TK, his mouth is SEXY, very tempted, wearing black clothes, looks really cool, it is the type that I like, yes, I told him at first sight! Even see his photos are heart (he did not know).
TK see me live, the obvious to me than before enthusiastic. Second day of the night he called me, and I do not want to talk to him so long to call is busy, He was afraid I ignore him, also took the initiative to tell me his home there. He sent messages back to me quickly.
that time is what I'm feeling confused, vulnerable and helpless time. TK is just like dating his girlfriend parted three years ~. Do not know why I believe he said, and will have a common topic, I am one of the world than this is the same person.
2005 year, because TK always told me that he was not happy, no girlfriend 好惨, or call me an introduction. Because we are the same self-motivated, and also enroll in some courses, there are common values, and I step on his deep, I would casually say: When your girlfriend, you're not happy either, hee hee said: not matter how sure I was useless. not no love, but afraid to step beyond fear of TK in my mind the perfect man will one day destroy, this idea makes me like the beauty of TK, quietly appreciation. After the Q with the TK as the frequency of meeting several times, I see him getting thinner in a circle, and then dividing by him from the middle to cut the broken pieces of short hair, I was suddenly afraid of his time to find a girlfriend I call courage to TK, he also sent messages from time to time.
2005 on Valentine's Day, I feel I will not be so lucky one, so that night I left the computer room in school link as usual with Q alone, and suddenly wearing a red dress holding a guitar on my computer screen Q avatar beat the lower right corner is the TK, was surprised to hear him call out: TK said: heart, love, and even told I have a common interest shared values of people.
I have always maintained contact with the TK, such as sometimes video, sometimes called, sometimes a message. do not know when to start, he I was absent-minded voice, feeling very bad, because I think all to very true, I do not want to face, finally, I chose to leave the Zhuhai, studies have endless! uncle open car to pick me up to a strange city of Dongguan , sitting in the car, I burst into tears the whole feeling of regret over that step did not (he did not know), my heart never make it hard to touch. go to a strange city, had wanted to give up everything I start again, could not help but send the information to the TK!! soon, uncle and relatives to open joint stock company problems, I decided to return to the Zhuhai development! a return to Zhuhai, the first time I telephoned TK, a dozen is half an hour, we also made an appointment to hang out with the New Year in 2006, but that time he was not sure what the situation and told me to call him the Spring Festival.
2005 年 12 months, with the TK video Although not the first time chat, TK told me this night the video wearing a red dress, to see him feeling better sweet, feel that they are feeling lucky.
2006 Chinese New Year, I encourage the courage to face the most gas TK called and said really feels to miss him, he said back in Guangxi, TK said that a return to Zhuhai, the first time let me know. Sure enough, the first time he really back to Zhuhai, send me a message, the message said: He, then, he often used to delete the main Q to my Q, and looked at him sub-Q Rosenkavalier has gray head, he just disappeared.
2006 年 3 months, when you really love a person can not fake are fake, I knocked to add back the TK QQ, TK also took my video once again see the familiar faces of his note, kind of want to cherish each other's feelings. Maybe he felt I was love him, he made a request of information to me and asked me to accompany him through Zhuhai (** a relationship with him), really speechless when I saw the post, and a woman casually asked the man to accompany him to bed, he on this issue in brownie points in my mind, down to zero, I decided to give up. wandering heart, just as soon have a boyfriend, let me live a simple life.
2006 年 3 end of the men had to pursue my Children do not give up after me, he Jiaoe Jiang. If I do not love, how hard he tried hard and I tempted, and sometimes I also believe that in October 2004 with the L stairs of a building in the Chittagong met! because of the strong relationship between I and L to be met after a lapse of two years, L called me every night, also took the initiative added my QQ, his net named: to, it is undeniable that he really has to try to understand me. two weeks after the April 2, 2006, I and L similar to meet a first date, he has half an hour late for half an hour ... then, we can see he told me the degree of attention! even after a lapse of more than 8 months and I know him and see him back, a meeting he handed a gift wrapped with a nice gift to me, told me to open and see if you like it, I laugh a laugh, is a polar bear doll, L invited me to dinner, shopping, and said I think I saw looked beautiful, kind strangers hate the feeling of night, he sent me another car Shihai wrote his phone number me. And I told him it? not seen like a long time friend, nothing special feeling that we feel that shopping is a tiring thing, it is looking for place to sit and it made the original so I know the boys love shopping, huh, huh! L gave me the car, the way back to me asking me to lay several times to no? but are busy! because the other one chasing the other boys gave me my phone (I do not love people), I have a feeling of being harassed, L after the suspect me of something, because I said that I rarely talk on the phone.
second meeting with L, he arrived early September in Chittagong Island City, waiting for me, grab a meal when he suddenly see my phone, do not know what to look like from the inside, I grab the phone a few times he did not give back to me, and I think that is really not understand that he is looking for the whole topic chat with me, such as the idol is the one asking me? like the color? ... ...?
met several times after, L will hold my hand, fingers intertwined, call me when his girlfriend, I did not respond, he asked me if I think he did not feel safe? I did not answer, he sent my favorite roses.
2006 年 4 early Sunday, I made an appointment with the TK, in his day to rest Zhuhai to see him on Sunday that evening, TK gave me a message saying: You also said that with me? I temporarily change his mind, had done it.
TK at the moment has been met, and his desire to distance closer, the more love can feel the distance is far more, obviously could not withstand such a thought, but did not intentionally installed.
2006 年 4 the end I resigned, intending to renters Xiangzhou , L said that he asked me to move to live, but also asked me to write a resume to him, he handed me his sister, sister to help me find him, and he said he sister know many people, he said as he rest with me to the job market to find a new job, I have refused, then I'm in South Kaori rented a hotel room in 2000.
Once he sent me back to the dorm, also took up my hand, kiss on the back of my hand, then looked at me quietly at the back left, I turned to look at him, smiled, and childhood in Western culture, like me, which killed the hand kiss, I really think he is very romantic ah .
He likes being late, always love to take me shopping, get my clothes and told me like what shirt to buy, he gave me to pay, and he has also repeatedly said that his mother wanted to meet me call me for taking the time to his family, we are in Zhuhai, his home in Zhuhai city, not far, but I refused, I feel everything is too fast, and besides, he said I was still pretty nice, I think this kind of love will not last long (he did not know what I think is the case).
the world with a light rain, L called me and said to my dorm after work to see me, he asked me to cook something for him to eat, I rush The cook from the surface to, did not think he suddenly arrived, knocked on my phone told me to go pick him up, took his phone and he said I was still running around in circles busy, he said: Yes, I'm leaving, to go home, I drove the car to send him to the umbrella, when we say bye, when he suddenly my snout, and then he handed me an umbrella, when he turned to go I thought he was when he another snout me, kiss me twice continuously, it is my night and his first kiss, this is my second time with the opposite sex kiss, I'm bold, vast and lonely at this moment the rain was exceptionally romantic, I handed umbrella over him, his death is not, he called me back home, that I did not kiss his girlfriend should be very clear answer, but it did not refuse.
2006 年 5 months, I Every time I call he received that many people think words are harsh voice, I said I like the soft-spoken man, he immediately changed, even if his bad mood, and chatted softly softly call, as always, every night give me a call to find topics chatted with me. but I still do not know the feeling of the L, a mess!
One day this month, Jiuzhou City and other L in my work, he was late for half an hour and then half an hour half an hour, I just do not complain, we met, he said I was so daring, without his consent to his company's downstairs waiting for him, his face was very ugly, I said I did not have your company there so you did not go away I've been in this too, he said, glancing at the window of a company like me, stood downstairs in his company a long time, my heart was thinking, even if I'm waiting for him downstairs to his company How? to his co-workers how to see me? Do not see the light I then? sister has always been my personal demons, even kiss in public, I feel normal, but that does not mean that I loose disorder, although only a misunderstanding, but also embodies the man just want me to be little one. I looked good, not bad now, the young, previous blank, a healthy family background, or a virgin, I, like a crystal clean, to Do not say that I boast, really a lot of men to pursue me, in fact, I really do not make compromises with such men together, too Zuoshan You avoid life, but love really can not think, that night I went to his first guitar large waterfront park, the grass he suddenly picked me, I told him to hurry me down, he hold,cheap UGG boots, I am scared half to death! Finally, he will I put down, they take the initiative to kiss me, I single-handedly pushed him away, Then cry, I do not know why I have this reaction? remember once sitting in the pavilion, he offered to kiss me, I am also very natural hand pushed him! but our third kiss, he said: then is the case, you and I keep at least one meter away from good, sentence: a face, and he asked me: love him? did not think he has a sense of security? I did not answer, he sent me back to the dorm suddenly asked me: Why does it hurt your heart? I said: I do not know.
sister saw his brother every night he gave me a long call, but also know of my existence, and soon his sister met me and said want to meet me, I'm afraid to see his family, L said, how do I then shy, and said a lot of confidence in me, finally, I promised to see her sister. His sister asked me to go to KFC, also took me shopping, and told me that his brother, had a lot of girlfriends, she saw I would give me a lot of evaluation that I do not dress up, dress up and so will not, I laugh it off, say goodbye to his sister after I sent a message saying: Nice to meet you, his sister did for me. the day after his sister phrase, a lot of girlfriends, I would like to take as his girlfriend, he once again set a record late, excuses explained: There are many heterosexual need him to accompany her? him? ... not the same moment he spoke. a person telling the truth, repeat 10 times 20 are wrong, people lying on the contrary, and stumbling. sometimes call him, he deliberately deaf, asked me to repeat the same words several times a sentence, but I did not get angry, so he I have nothing like this has been tempered. I began to not trust him, and even he has another girlfriend, he explained to me that phone will try to trust me.
Meidang L kiss me, my reaction turned out to be a natural push him out, L even said that I play the innocent!'ve never asked me why!! since with him, I am not happy, I refuse to do anything with his deviant behavior, one night I want him to once Zhuhai Fisher Girl it clear to him, he suddenly asked me two questions a row, and looked serious and said: 1) You are not a virgin? 2) If one day you see me in the street with very affectionate with another girl, would you go to play her? I said: Also, I will not hit the girl, love me, he gave me the cold a lot, has been active not about me or made a phone call me, call me every night before he was, I sent a angry message, he said: You is not that virgin do not ask others to be a virgin. A week later he offered me a telephone call, L said: give us some space, I would like to be quiet. I'm disappointed for him, this is my last time he was the only Cold War .
2006 年 5 月 sad, I miss the voice of TK, TK make a phone call at noon I chatted for a while, hung up after he sent me a message saying: I think your friend should talk to a relationship, and then slowly develop feelings, if you do not want, then we hit the telephone, send a good message, I just do not understand that he wanted me to go to bed in front, I always wanted a relationship with, I hesitated for a while, yes, perhaps my approach will surprise people who know me, but I have always been aggressive, will admit his guilt in this, do not like their landscaping, and this is my real experience, real me, if I have the last part of the experience lies, that is not my experience, more than me, but just a fictional story. even see his photos are very seductive, I do not understand why I so love him in the evening he asked me to send the information to accompany him north to Phoenix, when I came downstairs to go to Phoenix, when the North, L called me, I said something not empty, phone hung up after I sat half of the station clock, perhaps the first time it is a woman, so to be particularly large, the last I did not see TK, I once again go back to the TK.
< br> things are often not easily get to be treasured, even if it is connected into the value of the baby, life often is the case, it is worth your life to pay at someone or something, you turn a blind eye.
my mind TK again surfaced in the total picture, and his familiar voice note, I did not get through his number, I picked up a piece of paper and a pencil quietly painting his face structure, and I an a pen painting, I said to myself:
L began to say my bad, that's not good, for example: I am a little sweat in summer will see that my body is not smelly? fat, do not dress up, bottom of the baby ... a lot of nasty speak, so I feel that personality did not, I believe everyone has a bottom line, which caused a fuse silent, and I stressed to him not to mention every time I see I have any weaknesses, he ignore me feelings, but also asked me to change for him, and I just do not want to change, I am me, when he chose me is like my personality, now, as long as I do not change, he said no that I love him. a twenty years of age, every day from head to toe, every body said it had been that, in short, I do not want to have something on his mind, he said, but it did and the Arab-strong, then do not say no friends, and I'm not happy with the post-L, I told L that do not develop the ..., he did not agree, I respect him.
time I visit with him to the Jiuzhou City, dragged his hand, He immediately fell apart, left looking and looking, looking flustered, which killed it, for a family, love Shi Duqing clean white woman, but how much of an insult. I do not feel that he loved me, I called asked him: Do you have another girlfriend, is not convenient? If not, you tell me how so afraid of being seen shopping. He explained to me: no. Which I usually go shopping with you, the street died of?
I also intend to break with him, so I deliberately took his photo on the ID talk I make a good memory even if, without the knowledge of him silly with me, he did not expect Tonight I want to break up determined to speak with him ... see him, and I not willing to hurt him.
no matter how cherished if you can not get along with each other, you will really feel the love they fit, some things are not all right you do not face the problem will always exist, life is always a problem of a stack!
Xiangzhou a night in a new good, I broke the previous good temper, L for the first time with a large vent said: You told me so much discontent, how was kind enough to join me? you find other girls now. he was afraid of losing me, hold me tight, this is my first time being late Male hold me tight grip to hold the child have difficulty breathing. another day, and gave him QQ password to me, that is for me a sense of security. I am the next day at noon, upload a photo of me with him to his QQ space and open, he knew, immediately give me a call, I answered the phone, he was ferocious with the tone said to me: you are not crazy ... the line, he responded, all in my hands ! the face of L I confused, deep in my heart, a kind of feeling of regret, regret not give up easily, suddenly can not help but get through the telephone TK, TK took my phone, I feel L've never been, and I TK, as before with the kind of chatting phone, stupid stupid love.
time shopping with the L, a shop selling musical instruments came thick waves of guitar music, is a guitarist in the play , I stopped to listen, and he pulled me away,Discount UGG boots, saying: What nice. I like to sing, L does not like, but also told me to stop immediately mouth, L like shopping, I think that shopping is hard! he was a woman, and I on the contrary, I like to sing K, play musical instruments, play pool, go to bars, Internet ....! L because I was no common interest with the passage of time nor a common language.
2006 年 6 月I can not stand L again and again the day that I this and that, with my colleagues fear fear of shopping is also left friends, I fight with the L, asked him if he has a girlfriend, yes, we broke up, he are overwhelmed, said: I have always felt you take me for a replacement, and I have been not necessarily you love me, how active you never called me. I do not think he loves me, I sent the information to break up with him, he has ignored me, he offered me a few days later a telephone call, he said I think too much, and rushed to him and good. because not many know that a young woman, so her boyfriend to choose equal to the selected her husband, will not play next. So this time, and he met him in the end I would like to find out there is no other girlfriend? he laughed and said no, he does not seriously looked at, I do not care he is gone , he calls to ask me to go there, I said: go. I do not want to go with him to continue to fool the Hong Hong, the evening I asked him once again make a phone call in the end is not another girlfriend? He said I always ask this pain, and said that I do not trust him, not as good as broke count , and broke up that night, I do not understand why I sad? L I love it? love? do not love? love? This time, I found that I really am not willing to him, I make a phone call L, Mian keep him ( I was afraid I would regret), L said that another day invited me to dinner, if I want to hear and then recovered.
broke up, call me strong in fact that L and have many girlfriends, one is Doumen, a former mountain, their special relationship to who I do not know who is really fake, I tell my sister to listen to my things to do with the L, my sister, said after listening to not like L, I listened to my sister, I am so angry send the information to the L, Q, said my sister has not been like you ..., no I do not pity you. information for a given, I am very sorry, I know that we no longer possible to read with L a , are not allowed to work on the Q, after work I rushed to open the L, Q, to recover that information and found that L has read my message, I late! L power that I never recovered, and I told L wrote: Since I know you have another very happy girlfriend, L said I was the only one girlfriend, I do not believe him, and he asked me why I happy? I did not say (I have nothing against him nostalgic).
People say that people love to forget, but ... I do not know who my first love? L did not take me any the first time. I can think of a good day of darkness and L. I suddenly wanted to TK, but also send the information TK said: can be said to him, he said, gave me back the information. When I saw him I say, I cried (he did not know).
2006 年 7 月, TK suddenly at noon a message on me, TK said he has not another girlfriend. I think everything has come true again, my heart suddenly do not know what they want, I am at a loss, slowly began to not care about him on the Q, TK is also did not chat with me,UGG shoes, I always felt he was so hot and cold. One afternoon, TK in the Q suddenly send me a message saying: The others agreed to do the other man, go back again and again. with TK said: on September 3, L said it was his girlfriend who cherish done, so if Doumen will find time to see me off. Before long, he really had to find me, but I have something not in the company.
September 21, 2006, the company got the right to host an event in Zhuhai Sports Centre, I have a lot to get free tickets, the day trading company L opened his car door to get to my company, this is after we broke up first meeting, looking at his eyes much, Jie hair is very long, which killed it, I really think very handsome, but the emergence of L, just let me have a more, let me know I always love is TK, TK said that the expansion out to finish off the company, Zhongshan, Doumen see me.
2009 年 9 22, this evening, TK Doumen I really to see my office, the phone rings, I push I looked far to open the glass door, they saw him just Lynwood 名居 Square out of the car, we are one step closer to each other face to face, and finally saw his familiar face, he bit long beard, nose, exposing the long nose hair , wearing a light blue T-shirt, clothes, hair particles from the thick, black shoes a little worn, the first impression he gave me a little raunchy! I took him to Western food to eat, I pay the money. down the stairs, According to the photo I told TK (I'm afraid .. he ignored me again, I see him after all). I told TK many times in the past three years, no further contact, make the most familiar stranger can come together with TK how much I feel it is my blessing. one picture, phase, I'll buy wine TK to the moisture farm, he bought a bag of chips, three bottles of beer, a bottle of Coke. back to the company, I drink and a chat with him, I said in the Q space seen him upload photos with my colleagues, a lot of very popular with the girls welcome the woman, he said that all my colleagues to the surface (which reminded him what he was laughing ),... I use a straw to drink. chat, he said Doumen people here are particularly complex than the urban,bailey UGG boots, suburban than urban areas have lower temperatures, he gave me the first signal, that is, on the outskirts of the person he is exclusion (no gap between people, only thinking of the low quality of the people!). he call in colleagues to help him prepare clothes and said examiners early in the morning to return to the company, I say: tomorrow you have to go to work, you do not catch the last train back to Zhuhai? He said keep (men did not say you busy, and to see if he has no heart). I shower, we have one sitting on the bed, his long leg hair is man, that is what I like type (to find the sight of her husband to let their own to find a sexual desire), in bed, do not know why TK see the familiar faces, familiar voice to a kind of impulse to kiss him, (before other men never had the urge, not me casually, I knew I loved this moment beside the man, who I have been waiting for, finally wait.) I kissed him down, he **** men rolled over and kissed me in a room, sleeping in a bed, nothing will happen, what he wanted, my heart hesitation, my hand was rejected with (this is my the first and the boys sleep together), I said: you to the point of time I think about it, as long as I do not give into, even if I took all my close to him, he can hold on, he respected me. When a woman is a man off to their clothes naked in front of him is how much love ... you know? thought, since love, love will wholeheartedly, it may fall very hurt, I feel that feeling of coming together , no need to keep any man, keep a to a value you will not know the man, when you accept less than I fear. a desperate love my man with the kiss changed my TK relations, I paid for my love of my biggest expense, as the first woman to be needle slowly into the flesh of their own pain, so I grabbed his arm hard, and finally I can not stand the pain to, tell him to stop, but he did not stop, he said he would tender point, my breathing getting faster, rubbing his chest skin, and he touched my head down and hair, that I got him very nervous, test No two rows, and finally he stopped. with TK sleep together, I feel very happy, very sweet feeling, never had, everything was like a dream-like, did not ask for, do not regret in future like. have a lot of mosquito bites all night, I held the hand of TK, cross intertwined, and funny chat with him, as if I have said, not the topic, I asked him if he liked swimming, I'd like to dream in Zhuhai Watertown, he said he visited twice, and said do not go directly Fantasy Water can not swim jumped into the river, and I think he was not romantic, hum. woke up and saw he was really tired, all night to mosquito bites did not sleep well, but also back to work in Zhuhai, TK cloths also lazy in bed, I climbed on him, touched his face, looked at him, kiss him, woke up, opened his eyes the first to see that he felt really good. I secretly watched him leave through the glass at the back, kind of a do not see him again after the feeling. He returned after the company set up a visit to Q space permissions.
that time paid attention to my Q space has a good capacity of the friends called old my space, but also to the wide space, that I Qijia her, one plus her, she knew something I L? me a photo of me with the L to her, asked her friend would not be L? She did not respond to me what (the users should see a lot of my data)!
2006 年 9 月 27 日Lunar sixth day of August, the day is my birthday 22 years old lunar calendar, noon TK to phone, phone is my father took over, then I call back to TK, TK said Doumen night I had with me, a return to the company I called TK call, this time, TK around a colleague that he listen to my roots to our online photo do not know, he was angry, he said, I do not respect him, and he finished to hang my line I did not chance to say a word. tell him that my colleagues should be the best volume users, phone hung up, I immediately open the QQ, he pulled me Q blacklist, and he did not because it came to see me I played five times a row he did not pick, I'm afraid I'll have see TK, and 22-year-old birthday, I cried so badly (he did not know). In fact I did not recklessly photos to the Internet is not old people who know, has always been my approach is to directly open my photo album pages, even if his friends know that our relationship, he will not have to pull my black Q, from this I know him a normal friend important than me, and, he does not want to know the people around him know that I exist. some small details in life a person can reflect on what you are!
know these words not know why, go with the flow!
can not see the light of love, as beautiful in the dark, I feel I am very satisfied with him, never had the happiness.
he The first lot to me, and took my first lot.
love at first sight the first time that he first saw the photos are very seductive, really can not express in words
first encountered a great feeling and a lot of common interests and their own, and this guy has come together with me, love me
said the first time and they like to sleep
in a bed for the first time there has never been happy, sweet
for the first time....
a big crowd, I have been to him on the chest Location!
2006.9 28, one morning, the phone rang three times a row, I thought the alarm clock did not watch, love to sleep I go to sleep, I did not expect to sit early in the morning TK from Zhuhai Doumen my company car to the door looking for me, TK and knocked on my door company, called my name three times, I was the sound of his call to wake up, I told him again and good top speed, we keep abreast of the other body,
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